The Counselor and the (Lieutenant) Commander
Posted on Wed Feb 9, 2022 @ 6:39am by Lieutenant JG Fallon Morgenstern & Lieutenant Commander Anahera Chernova
Mission:
First Defeat
Location: Langley Station
Timeline: Mission Day 1 at 1900
Anahera was in her quarters enjoying a much needed glass of Bajoran spring wine.
Andorian blues playing in the background.
She leaned back in her arm chair, and put down her glass of wine as her eyes became clouded with sleep and dreams came.
In her dream, she lay in bed with her Bajoran lover, Jol Tela. The morning rays of the sun shining through the windows.
She could feel her warm body next to hers, and for now she was happy and content.
She rolled over and kissed Tela.
When the kiss ended, the Bajoran asked. "What was that for?"
"I just wanted to show how much I loved you." Anahera said.
"You did that last night." Tela said. "Several times." She laughed.
It was like music to Anahera's ears.
Then it was like a switch had been pulled and now Tela appeared as she had in the alley that fateful morning.
Her dead body beaten and bloody. Her clothing ripped. Dumped there like so much trash.
Anahera woke up in her quarters screaming. Just like then, she felt angry and frustrated.
She heard that there was a new Counselor on the Station, maybe she could help with the dreams.
She sent out message about an appointment and awaited a reply.
Fallon had been reviewing more personnel files when she received a message stating a Lieutenant Commander Anahera Chernova was requesting an appointment.
She returned with the reply that the Lieutenant Commander could visit her as soon as it was convenient for her. Fallon wished to attend to the Lieutenant Commander's concerns as soon as possible as she knew it took some fortitude for a person to reach out and seek help. She wanted the crew to know she was available to them and their concerns were paramount to her.
After receiving Morgenstern's reply, Anahera took a shower, put on a clean uniform and headed to Level 16, where Main Counseling Offices were located.
Stepping into the reception, she said. "Lieutenant Commander Chernova to see Lieutenant Morgenstern." To the Receptionist.
Fallon emerged in the reception area when she heard the Lieutenant Commander introduce herself. She was grateful her office was so close to reception so that she could personally greet each person. "Ma'am, please follow me. Before you begin would you like a beverage or a small snack?" she asked.
"A glass of cold water, would be fine, thank you." Anahera said as she followed Fallon into her office. "Also, you can call me 'Anahera' while we're alone." She told her.
"Of course." Fallon said bowing her head respectfully as she went to the replicator to retrieve the glass of water. She handed the glass to Anahera before leading her into her office. "Please have a seat wherever you like, except my desk of course, there are confidential files on there." she stated motioning her hand towards the cushioned couch and chairs in the corner of the room.
Anahera sat in one of the chairs. "So, how do you like the station so far?" She asked.
“It is very….big, much larger then the Academy, and the food is far superior, at least as far as the Promenade is concerned. Fallon began. “I apologize, I have not had the time to review your file and get to know you better. How long have you served on the station?” She asked.
"Just over four years." Anahera said. "I was assigned shortly after Kate, Captain Banninga was given Command of the station."
“And in those four years, how would you describe your social supports? Good, fair, poor? I hope I am not overstepping, but it seems perhaps you have a good friend in the Captain?” Fallon inquired.
"Good. Yes, Kate is a good friend, we've served together on several occasions, my granddaughter, Anzhelina also works on the Station as a civilian contractor, with her friend Mr. Beauregard, he's a sentient cyborg Sehlat." Anahera replied.
"Friend and family." Fallon said with a smile. She crossed her legs as she leaned back in her seat. "Now, I am guessing by virtue of you scheduling this appointment, you may have something you would like to share with me. If you are comfortable, I would like to hear what you have to say, but if not, we can continue talking over beverages."
Anahera took a sip of her water. "I've been having nightmares." She said. "I may appear to be in my thirties, but I'm actually over 230. In my time I've experienced a lot of violence and death, and taken part it more than my fair share of both. I've lost family, friends and lovers, and robbed others of theirs." She paused a moment. "In summary, I've done a lot of messed up stuff, and as a consequence, I'm all messed up."
"Labels are a convenient way for us to identify things we cannot fully understand. I personally am not fond of labels as like Aristotle once said, the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Just as we are not the sum of the genes and organs and bones that make us, we are not defined by our actions. Tell me about this dream, what happens, what does it make you feel?" Fallon inquired.
"Well there are several, they all start out well enough. I'm either in bed enjoying myself with someone else and suddenly they age rabidly, so I am covered in the dust that was once the body of my lover. In another I'm walking in a sunny field, with the warm sun on my skin and the aroma of wild flowers. The sun then disappears from view and I'm cloaked in twilight. I look around and the rocks and tree trunks have become gravestones, and the inhabitants of the graves, their bodies made grotesque by time and rot. With bone dry mouths they call me murderer or ask me why they had to die."
She sighed a little. "All leave me with fear, anger, guilt and frustration, but the latest dream is the worst as it brings forth a most painful memory. During the latter part of the Cardassian Occupation, I smuggled supplies to the Bajoran people. I met and eventually fell in love with a young Bajoran teacher named Jol Tela. Whenever I was on Bajor, I'd stay with her and her sister, Reena.
"One night while I was off-world, Tela was attacked by a squad of drunk Cardassian soldiers. The raped her, beat her and left her to die alone in a dirty alley. Reena went out looking and found her the next day. I arrived and she showed me the scene. I pick her up and gave her a proper burial. I took Reena and we left Bajor soon after."
Anahera took a sip of her drink. "The nightmare starts with me and Tela in her bed, the morning sun streaking through the windows, bathing us in its glow. I kiss her we banter about last night's activities and I briefly close my eyes. When I open them, I see Tela, but now she is the way I saw her in that alley those many years ago."
"If I am understanding you correctly, it would seem all of your dreams involve loved ones dying in your arms after a short reminder of the joy you felt with them?" Fallon asked.
"Some yes, but the graveyard one includes friends and enemies." Anahera said. "Before joining Starfleet, I worked as a mercenary, with a code, but people still died at my hand."
"And you feel that you are defined by your past actions? That by those deaths, perhaps you are deserving of some sort of punishment or penance?" Fallon asked.
"Yes, I believe so. Things became a lot clearer once I had that faulty bio-neural implant removed." Anahera replied.
"Could it be that perhaps these dreams are memories of the past to remind you of where you have been and how far you have come? You have told me you were once a mercenary, likely driven by self-motivation, but here we are, talking on a Starfleet station. You swore an oath to serve more than yourself and you have earned the respect of your peers. Could these dreams not also serve as a type of pat on the back instead of a cry for penance?" Fallon asked, folding her hands together.
"Perhaps, but I'd rather not dream about dead people, if I can help it." Anahera said. "I'm no doctor, but could it be withdrawal, I had a bio-neural implant flooding my brain with neural chemicals and hormones for over a century?" She asked.
"It could be a result of a biological dysfunction. Have you ever had any scans done on your brain?" Fallon asked. Truthfully, Fallon would be quite concerned if this woman had endured the symptoms for years without any doctors detecting any biological abnormalities. Scans should have detected unusual brain activity.
"It did, I was on an away mission in 2389, where it had collapsed and had convolutions. An Andorian doctor onboard was able to remove it. According to him, it should have been removed more than 70 years earlier as they normally begin to breakdown after 100 years." Anahera explained. "As for brain scans, no one knows what is normal for a Human/El-Aurian."
Fallon nodded. "I can prescribe you some Prazosin. It is a medication used to treatment nightmares associated with post-traumatic stress disorder." Fallon leaned forward looking into Anahera's eyes. "What I want to emphasize is this is by no means me putting a label on you or making a formal diagnosis. My hope is that this will eliminate or reduce the frequency of your nightmares. We can explore a variety of other treatments and hopefully one day achieve your goals. Does this sound amenable to you?"
"Yes, thank you." Anahera said. "I've been self-medicating with caffeine and alcohol and it isn't working."
Fallon smirked. "I am afraid neither of those substances have empirical support as treatment for post-traumatic stress-related nightmares. I would recommend you try to reduce your intake of those substances and if possible use synthohol in place of alcohol. It may react poorly with the medication."
"I understand." Anahera said.
"Excellent. Would you like to continue our discussion or would you like to break until the next session? I am able to accommodate which ever course of action you feel is best for you." Fallon stated.
"I think we should wait 'til the next session, because as Security Chief, I'm technically always on duty." Anahera said. "Thank you, Fallon." She added with a smile.
Of course ma....Anahera. Please remember my door is always open, even in between sessions....unless of course I have another session, then it would likely be closed." Fallon said with a nervous smile.
"I'll keep that in mind, thank you again, Fallon." Anahera said.
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Lieutenant Commander Anahera Chernova
Chief Security Officer
Langley Station
Lieutenant JG Fallon Morgenstern
Counselor/Medical Officer
Langley Station